Worthiness is defined in the dictionary like this:
“Having adequate or great merit; character, or value; of commendable excellence…deserving”
If you didn’t have a chance to read the previous post is this little series, check it out. I wrote about how the first part of establishing positive self esteem in a child is in teaching them to believe in themselves.
The second part of it is in teaching them to understand their worthiness.
I think that this is very critical to understand and even more so to apply. I know a lot of people who are sold on the idea that if you can conceive it and believe it you will achieve it…they just don’t make the connection between accomplishment and their own talent. In other words, they can see it to some degree in their minds, but they figure it’s going to take a miracle or something other than their own ability to actually get ‘er done. What a shame.
We all have a gift to give the world. And every child should be aware of this. As responsible adults, we should be nurturing the idea with our kids that they are gifted. If we give this our energy and attention, we will begin to effectively build their self esteem.
On the flip side – when feelings of unworthiness are allowed to fester for years, it becomes nearly impossible as adults to see how we can be of value to our fellow planet mates.
There aren’t many feelings that are worse than having no value. To be less important, or not as smart, or less talented, or not capable is really to be non existent. And that of course leads to all kinds of terrible things, the best of which may be non-accomplishment or lack of fulfillment. At worst, an individual who feels no worthiness may lash out against society and commit crimes, or inflict damage upon others and even themselves, sometimes fatally.
So let’s avoid that scenario altogether by taking this positive thing seriously.
It brings me great joy when I am able to encourage my kids and see that they are really grasping the whole notion that they have abilities and gifts that are unique.
Build them up…then after you’ve built a little, build some more, then some more. You should want your kids to feel on top of the world as often as they can, and to realize that they are important. Important to you, and important to others.
Remember that we are totally responsible for the lives of our children. That’s quite an assignment! I can’t help but imagine what kinds of things I might have accomplished if I had believed at an earlier age that the only limitations in my life were the ones in my own mind. Then I figure that my thoughts along these lines are really serving to fuel my passion for instilling these beliefs in my own kids.
Some hesitate to go down this road with their children because they don’t want to “set them up for failure” by establishing unrealistic expectations. I think that this idea is as noble as it is ignorant. Setting boundaries for our children is precisely what limits them. Limited thoughts and beliefs lead to limited results. There is never any harm in reaching for the moon…if the consolation is merely hitting the stars. Let that one sink in.
We need to make sure that our kids understand that they are worthy.
Remember that the biggest part of helping them stay in touch with the right kinds of thoughts is in our communication with them. Just talk to them. Tell them how worthy and important they are every night before they go to sleep. Make that the last thing they hear before they turn themselves over to their imaginative minds in dreamland. Reinforce these ideas when you sit with them at breakfast or dinner. Call them during the day, or text them messages that say encouraging things. For my son, who actually has a cell phone…ughhhh…I like to text “you’re the man” to him every now and again just to remind him that he is important and that his father is proud of him. I can tell you that have seen an amazing growth in his confidence level. With my little girl, I like to leave notes telling her that I love her and that today she is going to do something great. She’s into the note thing. I get them from her every once in a while, too. It’s truly magical how something small like this, as well as communicating with them regularly has had such a meaningful impact on them.
If kids buy into the fact that they are just as important as anyone else out there, and that they are important because they are who they are, then they will be well on their way to changing the world.
Next comes using their talent. And that comes in tomorrow’s post. Stay tuned.