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Learn To Unleash

So what are we suppose to do when we get frustrated?

After all, it happens to every single one of us.  Yes, even the positive minded.

If you are pushing forward in life and are committed to learn and grow, sooner or later you’re going to get somewhere you’ve never been and it’s going to be like hitting a wall.

Frustration can come at us from all angles.  When we don’t achieve a desired result in the time table we expected it to materialize, it aggravates us.  We might also get flustered because we don’t have a frame of reference for how to deal with the situation we find ourselves in.  Sometimes it seems like we have done everything right, but we still get nothing or nowhere for our efforts.  A more eloquent man might put it differently, but I’ll say it this way…sometimes, life sucks!

So, once again, the question becomes, what do we do about it?

Here’s my advice, based on personal experience, observation, and many long and insightful conversations with people who have experienced frustration…

Let it go!

No, I don’t mean let it go like a tiny little butterfly drifting away on a soft, white cloud…I mean LET IT GO like get it out of your system!  Let it rip!  Scream to the heavens.  Unload!

One of the greatest forms of therapy is to admit when you are in a tough spot.  And I think it’s just fine to yell, rant, bitch, moan, complain, and all  that other stuff when you are having one of those days or when you’re at a point of extreme or even total frustration.

Empty the tank.

Look, the feelings are there, the emotions are running hot and the mental drain is real.  Why bury it all in your subconscious or internalize it so that it lives to explode another day?

Take the pressure off of yourself, for crying out loud!  (And yes, you can cry out loud, too, if you want).  You’re only human.  You’re going to fail.  You’re going to get bummed out.  And I say that’s okay!  Just make sure you get it out of your system.

You will have a much clearer perspective once you have ranted and raved.  Trust me on this one.

If you haven’t failed at anything in your life it’s because you haven’t tried anything in your life.  You’ve never risked becoming exceptional at anything if you have yet to experience the agony of defeat.  The pain of underachievement.   The let down and furious internal frenzy of frustration.

So, who do you bitch to?

You should probably pick someone who is strong and who will have the capacity to hold up under fire.  Don’t pick a “yes man” or “yes woman”.  By that I mean someone whose greatest and only relational skill is their ability to empathize with absolutely everything you say.  If you hook up with that person in your time of trial, you’ll end up feeling much worse, even after you have vented.  Because they will simply echo all of your frustration and the two of  you might conclude that life is just a big pile of dog poop.

Pick a positive minded person.  Pick a person who encourages you or motivates you.  Someone inspirational.

By the way, this is a great reason to surround yourself with good people.  If you have a bunch of Debbie Downers in your life…you might just choose to vent by yourself.

Which leads me to another point.  And that is this; sometimes venting by yourself can be an even more effective way of dealing with frustration.

The therapy comes from hearing all of your doubts, fears, and limiting beliefs flow from your being.  Once you are in full throttle “get-it-out, let-the-world-know, I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore” mode, you will be hearing all of the reasons why you haven’t accomplished your goal…and they will be coming straight from the horse’s mouth!   It’s an incredibly effective way to uncover your own limiting thought patterns.  The ones you didn’t know you had.

Venting loudly helps too.  You know, if you’re going to do anything, you may as well not do it half-ass.  Sound off, sailor.

Also, for your consideration…

Prayer is a form of venting.  Yes, it’s true.  It’s okay to tell your Maker that they messed something up.  (That’s not really what happened, but if it is coming from your heart…your Maker will understand).  Get it all out on the table.  Hear yourself railing against God and the Universe.  It’s some of the most honest feedback you can offer up.  Because it’s coming from your heart.  It’s at the core of your being.  It just took an extremely unpleasant experience or series of events to get you to admit it.  But if it’s there, it needs to come out.

It’s my own variation of the release technique.  And I strongly suggest you learn to use it in your own life when the situation calls for it.

There are a few benefits to you beyond discovering the internal roadblocks that are holding you back.  One of them is that your head won’t explode.  Another is that you won’t continue to fester these subconscious thoughts that are working against you.  It’s true that you can be your own best friend and also your own greatest enemy.  Harboring negativity in any form will always come back to haunt you.  But maybe the greatest benefit that you will receive is the relief and peace that you will have once you have let the madness flow from your being, much like hot lava from a volcano.  You will find that you are very resourceful and once you have recharged and are refreshed, you can tap into yourself again with a renewed enthusiasm and much crisper perspective.

So say it loud, say it proud, with a friend, on your own, on your feet or on your knees.  Just make sure you get it out of your system.

Then, make like Sinatra did when he sang, “I pick myself up and get back in the race…that’s life!

Reader Feedback

2 Responses to “Learn To Unleash”

  1. avatar Jim Guy says:

    Mike

    As an old timer I am feeling my way with blogging so this is probably my first reply to anything.

    I think the article on frustration was designed for me personally as it hits my current position to the Tee. Both my wife and I have been seriously wiped out by the GFC and getting back to any semblance of recovery is slow and frustrating. There are days when it is an effort to shake the thought of where to go next and how we can work our way through the haze and maze to see any brighter future. Seems every direction you turn there is a brick wall. Anyway it is not the end of the world for us, yet we so need to vent the frustration and kick again. Your article allows me to do just that. I think the hardest thing is to find someone to listen who is not judgmental and perceives you as a loser. Just writing this has allowed me to vent some of the frustration so thank you. I will come again.

  2. avatar Mike Shippey says:

    Jim –
    I’m glad you took the plunge and left your comments!

    I think venting is some of the best therapy, and it also allows us to hear what limiting beliefs we have inside ourselves. Because of that, it’s REAL important that we listen to what WE are saying (or yelling) and not so important to listen to others who may try to characterize us as weak for admitting temporary failure.

    Often, those brick walls that seem impossible to go through are either short enough for us to climb over, or
    not as wide as they look, and we can walk around them. But only when we are ready, have regrouped and have a new, clearer perspective of the wall.

    If you can learn from your mistakes or short comings, get the frustration out of your system and continue to move ahead, you will make progress. It’s not easy – it takes work, but you have the capacity to achieve great things.

    Please do come back – this place exists to help!

    I am also in the process of putting together a coaching program in support of my last book, as I am truly motivated to help as many people work through these difficulties as I possibly can.

    All the best
    MS

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